christmas sweater pageant

• 2011-12-15 15 notes

  

  Today’s sweater: Vintage black acrylic blend double knit sweater with instarsia images of Snoopy & Woodstock. Complete with a wreath, the word “Snoopy” spelled with two ornaments for “o”s and ornaments on the sleeves.

  
  Christmas factor (1-5):  5 - Snoopy & Woodstock are sporting Santa hats. It’s pretty obvious.
  
  

  Tacky factor (1-5): 5 - This is for many reasons a) this sweater is clearly from the 80’s, a tacky decade; b) this sweater is clearly meant to be worn as some sort of longer tunic-y thing and would probably be a dress on a smaller person; c) the “Snoopy” lettering is patterned like a candy cane; d) the whole thing is incredibly childish for an adult-size sweater.
  

  
  About the picture: I bought this sweater, it was just too unique not to. Also, I sorta hate the way I smile.
  

• 2011-12-14 5 notes

  

  Today’s sweater: White cotton crew-neck sweatshirt with puff paint, stitching and appliques designed to look like a snowman’s face, hand & hat. My mom made my whole family sweatshirts like this when I was about 14; the fabric for the mitten and hat band came from my dad’s old ties. It would be a sweet way to remember the man if the finished product wasn’t so dreadful. 

  
  Christmas factor (1-5):  3 - Snowmen are weird - on the one hand, they totally belong to winter; on the other, when you stick ‘em on a piece of clothing, they feel more Christmas then they probably should.
  
  

  Tacky factor (1-5): 4.5 - I shouldn’t even have to explain this one. Some of the appliques are held on by PUFF PAINT.       P U F F P A I N T
  

  
  About the picture: My Michelle Bachmann impression is really coming along!!
  

• 0 notes

  sweater for 12/13

  I had to repeat a sweater today (sweater #1) - I was going to wear this terrible snowman sweatshirt but then halfway to my car I realized that I had a job interview to conduct today and maybe a totally embarrassing sweatshirt that my mom made me when I was in high school wasn’t the best thing to wear when convincing someone to work at my office.

• 9 notes

  Today’s sweater: Cotton blend (with other bits of yarn) cardigan with 3 panels of intarsia motifs on either side of the front - a candle, toys, a Christmas tree, a wreath, a teddy bear and some candy canes. There are 3D bows on the Christmas tree & the wreath which is just what you want near your boobs. A bit circle covered in bows.

  
  Christmas factor (1-5):  5 - Covers all bases of holiday nonsense. Just missing a big, winking Santa face on the back.
  
  

  Tacky factor (1-5): 5BILLION - Honestly, between the bows, the motifs and the novelty yarn that’s used in each, this thing is terrible.
  

  
  About the picture: This was my sweater from 12/6, I look like shit because this was the eve of the COLD FROM HELL.
  

• 2011-12-13 20,245 notes

  (via ummbrella)

  Source: jonwithabullet

• 2011-12-12 8 notes

  

  Today’s sweater: Red cardigan with snowflake designs sewn on and black fuzzy Scottie dog appliques with 3D ribbon scarves.
  

  
  Christmas factor (1-5): .5 - Really, just the snowflakes are vaguely winter-y.
  

  Tacky factor (1-5): 2 - THE DOGS ARE FUZZY. PEOPLE TRIED TO TOUCH THEM.
  

  
  

  About this picture: I totally spaced on getting someone to take a picture of me today so I had to take this in the bathroom of the vet’s office. The vet techs were really into this sweater though so I could have asked them. Alas, I just wanted to get my cat’s meds and GTFO.
  

• 0 notes

  I’m back!

  When I get sick, I GET SICK YO!  Thanks to the cold-that-will-not-stop, I missed three days of work (and slept through most of the weekend). I’m still not 100% but I did manage to get into a Christmas sweater and get into work to show it off today.

  I have a sweater for 12/6 but I haven’t had time to rotate the pictures of it. Plus, I look like Death warmed over in the pictures so … . meh …

• 2011-12-07 3 notes

  apparently, when I get sick, I spend all day in bed watching The Big Bang Theory and making friendship bracelets.

  I am 10.
  

• 2011-12-05 13,819 notes

  

  <3 when Christmas movies come true :)

  Source: fuckyeahdementia

• 7 notes

  Let’s all agree to not talk about how much I look like Kazaam in this picture.

  Today’s sweater: Cotton blend fair isle cardigan in red, back, white, green & gold. Motifs of trees, reindeer & other traditional designs. This sweater was pronounced a “very classy jumper” by my British co-worker so there you have it, it is very classy.

  
  Christmas factor (1-5):  3 - It’s missing a Santa or elves or something else particularly Christmas-like. But the colors are all there and the fair isle helps.
  
  

  Tacky factor (1-5):  1 - I refuse to find anything knitted in fair isle tacky. The point is for the gold lame yarn that’s used for the accents.

  
  About the picture: All of the walls in my office are painted that weird, institutional-y yellow. Some people think it’s soothing. Those people have probably been in a real institution.